Silence and the End of All Things
by awesomesauce101
Summary: Long after their link is established, Dean's grown used to Cas' presence in the back of his mind. When Cas is attacked by Metatron's followers and that connection wavers and threatens to disappear, only then does Dean realize how much he fears the silence in his head and how much he fears losing his angel.


**Sorry I haven't posted anything in a while. Getting ready for college and don't have a lot of time for stuff. But this idea came to me and I just had to write it. Uses my two previous fics 'A More Profound Bond' and 'Without You' as jumping off points, but they can each be read separately. (I should just combine all of them, but that's too much work)**

* * *

During the whole training wheels phase of this soul bond thing that he and Cas have, it had been hard to tell the difference between what emotions were his and which belonged to his friend. It shouldn't have been that hard, you'd think, but between the two of them, they had enough angst and self-loathing going on to make even the happiest man alive depressed, so it was a little difficult knowing whether it was him or Cas that was feeling guilty when a hunt went sideways. Nine times out of ten, it was the both of them.

These days however, he can easily tell whose emotions he's feeling. It's as simple as night and day and most of the time, he puts Cas' presence on the back-burner if they're not together. Occasionally, he'll feel little pulses of distress or frustration, but they disappear so quickly that he doesn't even have time to worry about it. Besides, Dean's told Cas countless times to contact him via their link if he's ever in a tight situation. Of course, as an unofficial Winchester, asking for help isn't in his nature and it isn't until multiple failed attempts to contact him that Dean realizes something is very wrong.

He doesn't really notice it until later in the day. Sam is looking for a case and Kevin is working on deciphering the angel tablet, so Dean makes use of his time by going on a supply run. They're almost out of pie and hunter's helper and Sam keeps insisting that he bring back something healthy for once, so that's how he ends up in the produce section deciding what rabbit food to get that Sam won't bitch about. He's fairly certain that anything will do and he grabs a few apples and tosses them into one of the little bags the store provides.

The feeling starts to make itself known when he's waiting in the stupidly long checkout line. Why they only have three freaking lanes open at the moment is beyond him, but he's too busy focusing on this weird feeling to really care all that much. He can't really place the emotion. It's not fear or anger, but it's definitely not a happy feeling. It's too faint to really put a name to it at the moment and he just hopes that Cas hasn't gotten himself into trouble again.

Whatever it is, it isn't going away, no matter how much he ignores it and by the time he gets home, it's almost to the point of overwhelming. He puts everything away and retreats to his room under the premise that he has a headache, which isn't really that far from the truth. He flops onto his bed, too distressed about Cas to even appreciate its softness as he tries contacting the angel.

_Cas, you okay?_

He doesn't get a response and he wonders if Cas is too busy to reply. Suddenly, the wall that he normally puts up to separate their emotions crumbles and he cries out, clutching at his head. It's worse than a migraine and through it, he can tell that Cas is injured. How or to what extent, he isn't sure, but it's clear that Cas is in danger. He closes his eyes and for a brief moment, he sees what Cas sees. In the few moments where he's in Cas' head, he registers flashes of silver and light and a burning pain in what feels like his shoulder blades. It looks like he's fighting angels and more importantly, it looks like he's losing.

"Dean? What's wrong?" Sam's voice is an echo in the background and he can barely hear what he's saying over the chaos in his head. He must manage to gasp something out, because the next thing he knows, he's being handed pills that are supposed to help with headaches. They don't make the pain go away completely, but they quiet the cacophony in his head and he can think clearly again.

"Cas is in trouble," he says. He tries again to contact the angel, but he still can't get a reply. He can still sense Cas' presence, so he knows he's still alive, but for how much longer, he can't be sure.

"Have you tried contacting him with your bond thing?" Sam asks. Dean nods his head, groaning when the world tilts around him.

"He's not answering," he says, endeavoring to keep as still as possible.

"Do you know where he is?"

"If I knew where he was, do you think I'd just be sitting here?" he snaps. Sam doesn't even blink at his outburst and keeps talking to him in a calming voice, trying to figure something out.

"It's a bit of a long shot, but do you think you can see where he is, if you concentrate enough?"

He doesn't want to close his eyes again and see Cas getting hurt. All he wants to do is curl into a ball and wait for the pain to pass. But he has to help him, so he closes his eyes and concentrates. Normally, the only thing that he can ever sense is Cas' emotional state. He never needs to know where he is because he's either in Heaven or with them. But this time, he focuses on Cas' location, on the distance that separates them that he always feels when he's alone.

He's not a GPS and he doesn't have an exact address, but he can tell Cas is here on Earth and that he's closer than he thought. He focuses on the direction, following his presence until he can pick out a general area. He's still in Kansas and he lets himself into Cas' head again. They're outside, this time they're flying and it disorients him a little before he can focus enough to observe the area around them. The height works to his advantage and he can see buildings and nearby there's a familiar cemetary where Michael and Lucifer had once faced off.

When he snaps back into his body, it takes a second to adjust and Sam looks at him, concern evident on his face. He gives his brother a weak thumbs up and tells him that he knows where Cas is. He's too out of it now to protest when Sam carries him to the Impala like he weighs nothing, but he's in no state to drive and all he can do is tell Sam that Cas and the other angels are just outside of Lawrence. He's exhausted and as Sam drives, the rumble of the engine puts him to sleep until they arrive.

What wakes him up isn't Sam shaking him and calling his name, though that is a contributing factor. The thing that wakes him up is the quiet in his head. He can't sense Cas at all and he panics, thinking that they made it too late. But Sam just drags him along and it doesn't take long until they're standing in the field that Cas and the others had fought above.

There are scorch marks on the ground in the shapes of wings and he hopes that Cas isn't lying here somewhere with his fallen brothers. Sam searches the bodies, likely wondering what happened just as Dean is. Of course, the older is more concerned with finding his angel alive. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees something tan and wrinkled lying on the ground and his heart falls when he realizes that it's Cas' coat.

He makes his way over, stepping over dead bodies until he can reach Cas' side. Cas isn't moving and he puts his fingers to Cas' throat, feeling for a pulse. He lets out the breath he was holding when he finds it, thready and barely there, but still beating all the same. He tries picking Cas up and his fingers slide through something warm and slick. They come away red with blood and when he looks, the back of his coat is stained with it as are the dark wings sticking out of his back.

"Cas? Hey! Wake up!"

He takes Cas' face in his hands and he's getting blood everywhere but he doesn't care because Cas isn't stirring at all. Sam comes over and helps him carry Cas back to the car. He almost complains about getting the interior dirty, but then he thinks about that emptiness he feels and decides that he can always clean it later. He lays Cas out on the back seat, the angel's head resting in his lap and he tries cleaning himself up as best he can. He still wonders at how Cas' wings seem to disappear into the leather, but he stows away his curiosity for the moment, more focused on getting Cas conscious. He calls Cas' name periodically, but just like before, he doesn't get an answer.

_Cas, can you hear me?_

He keeps at it the whole ride back to the bunker, running his fingers through Cas' hair just to give himself something to do. Eventually, the angel stirs and their connection flickers, like a computer slowly coming back on.

_Cas? _

The silence that had been present before vanishes in a tide of confusion and agony. It takes a few minutes of him talking and petting Cas' hair before the angel calms down enough to realize where he is.

_**Dean, are you okay?**_

The question makes him laugh. He's not the one covered in blood and barely alive. He nods, not trusting himself to speak out loud.

_I should be asking you that. What happened?_

The angel shrugs and immediately realizes that perhaps that wasn't such a good idea. He winces and clutches at Dean's jacket to ground himself, taking a few deep breaths before he can reply.

_**It seems that some angels would still see Metatron as their leader rather than me. They attacked me when I was on my way to check in on you and Sam.**_

Anger briefly fills him at the name of the scribe who's caused them so much trouble. Cas' presence is the only thing that soothes him and he huffs out a breath, going back to stroking Cas hair to calm himself down.

_You should have saved some of them for me._

He can hear Cas' laughter in his head and he grins down at him. Sam glances at them in the mirror and he fills him in on what happened. He nods, equally as disturbed at the turn of events as Dean.

"What'd they do to you? Your back was covered in blood when we found you," he asks. Sometimes Dean forgets that his brother can't see Cas' wings and he looks down at the dark, bloodied feathers, anger at the angels who attacked him simmering as Cas explains.

"Our wings are our greatest asset as well as our greatest weakness. They're the most vulnerable part of an angel's body and normally attacking them would be what you consider fighting 'below the belt'. Apparently, the others didn't seem to have a problem with that."

As if to emphasize his injuries, Cas groans again, face drawn and pale. Dean can't help the worry that skitters across their bond and he snaps at Sam to drive faster.

_You seriously should have saved some of them for me. _

Cas gives a pained laugh and Dean tries to keep him awake and comfortable until they get back to the bunker. He has Sam help him carry Cas in when they arrive. He arranged a room for Cas to stay in a while ago, when the angel would sometimes pop in and stay a few days with them. This time, he takes Cas to his own room, helping him change out of his bloody clothes and assessing the damage.

There are deep, jagged cuts where the others' blades sheared through Cas' wings. Others appear to just be an in-and-out stab wounds, but either way, they're a gruesome mess and are going to need a lot of work. Most of the bleeding has stopped, but he's still going to have to stitch up some of the deeper cuts. He cleans them as best he can and goes to get his first aid kit, sitting behind Cas and bandaging some of the smaller injuries before working up to the bigger wounds.

It takes a while and he has to stop when Cas' pain threatens to overwhelm the both of them. He pets Cas' wings where they're free of injury and eventually, he calms down. His wings quiver under Dean's touch and he talks to him the whole time, soothing him and trying to keep him as still as possible. He's never done this before and he really doesn't want to mess this up.

When it's all done, relief is felt on both ends of their connection and Dean lets out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Cas turns his head and smiles at him, looking better than he did when they found him.

_**Thank you, Dean. That feels much better.**_

_No problem. Just be careful with those. I don't think you should be flying until they're completely healed._

Cas nods in agreement and turns so he's facing Dean, question clear in his gaze and the tilt of his head.

_**Do you mind me staying here?**_

_Of course not. Where else would you go anyway?_

Cas looks like he's about to reply but instead he shakes his head and grins. He grabs Dean and pulls him closer, wings wrapping around him gingerly. Dean would normally protest, but he'd been so scared that he lost Cas today that he just sighs happily and rests his head on Cas' shoulder. He can sense Cas' contentment and happiness and he presses a kiss to his shoulder, feeling that happiness bloom. He grins and pulls Cas down onto the bed, both of them resting on their sides. Cas' left wing passes through the bed like it's not there and only now does his curiosity get the better of him.

"How do they do that?" he asks, forgoing their mental link for the moment.

"My wings don't manifest on this plane of existence."

"But I can see them and touch them," Dean says.

"That's because of our connection. Normally, you wouldn't be able to see them unless I allowed you to."

"Oh. Would you have shown them to me even if we weren't, you know, mated?" he blushes at the word and Cas just smiles.

"I believe I would have."

"Does that make me extra special?" Dean jokes.

"It does. Although, I've always thought you were a very special person," Cas says sincerely. He doesn't seem to grasp the fact that Dean was joking, but the hunter could care less because Cas thinks he's someone special and while he normally wouldn't listen to anyone who told him that, there's something in the way the angel looks at him that makes him believe it. He smiles and inches closer to Cas, hand coming up to cup his cheek. He wants to ask Cas if he can kiss him, but for some reason the words won't come. He feels Cas' mind questioning him and he opens up, letting Cas in and allowing him to read Dean's thoughts and answer the question he can't ask.

_**I thought you'd never ask**_.

_Technically, I didn't_.

Dean snickers at his own little joke and with nothing stopping him, closes the last couple of inches and seals their lips together. He knows that he's kissed Cas before, but it's always a kiss to his cheek or his hair or a shoulder. He's never kissed Cas' lips before and now he regrets waiting so long. They're soft and pliant under his own and Cas parts them easily, allowing Dean's tongue to slip inside and tangle with his own.

They're both panting slightly when they pull away and Cas is pleasantly flushed, hair a mess where Dean had been unconsciously running his fingers through it. He can feel himself blushing and he's smiling so hard it sort of hurts.

_**That was pleasant. **_

_No argument there._

_**Can we do it again?**_

Dean laughs softly and presses their foreheads together, letting Cas' love wash over him like a wave. Cas' smile is dazzling and his heart skips in his chest, sure that he'll never tire of the sight.

_We can do it as many times as you want, Cas._


End file.
